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What’s up with Debbie?

Once again it’s been a while since I blogged – so forgive me. The truth is, I don’t like writing unless I have something to say or share. Although I have made quite a few things that I felt were delicious and easy to make, the photos came out terrible. So, I didn’t feel inspired to share them. I’ve also made some things that were just awful…edible, but not mentally edible. I definitely didn’t want to share those things with you – yuk! Then I viewed a post that Bunny left on Raw Fu about raw food disasters. Boy, is it ever true sometimes. So I know that many aspiring rawfoodists suffer from this too.

Anyway, I’ve been going through a lot of different things over the past couple of weeks, and I thought I would talk about that. I am participating in another 100-day raw food challenge on Raw Fu. It started on January 1st. I have been so dedicated to following this challenge through up until about 5 days ago. I’m still about 80-90% focused, but having trouble. I don’t know if it’s from the cold weather, anxiety, or what, but I broke down and started sneaking Trader Joe’s organic corn chips again. Usually when you crave something, it’s because you are supposedly lacking in a nutrient of some kind. Well, the only thing I can think of is salt or sodium. The ingredients of the chips are just organic corn, organic sunflower seed oil, and organic sea salt. So it has to be the salt, since I have been getting plenty of fat lately through avocados, nuts and seeds – probably too much fat. Anyway, I also noticed that I feel thirsty but nothing is satisfying me. I’ve been bloating a lot, and feeling constipated again. So it has to be the chips, and some raw food combining. Maybe too many nuts and seeds carried over from the holidays. Something has to give!

Well, over the past couple of weeks I have also been reading several different books. I’m currently reading The Raw Food Diet Myth, which is an excellent book. I truly have benefited from reading this book, because it helps me see where I’m fitting into this whole raw food thing right now. You can learn more about this book by reading the review posted by Raw Food Right Now. The other book I’m reading is the book my son got me for Christmas, Oneness With All Life: Inspirational Selections from A New Earth. It’s more of an inspirational daily reading book than anything else, but it has been a real help to me – a lot like The Secret, has been to me – another book I highly recommend you read. In addition to these two books, I decided to read Lose Weight, Have More Energy & Be Happier in 10 Days, Second Edition. This will be the second time I read this book. This time around I’m more serious about actually doing the Master Cleanse.

In fact, yesterday when I was at Whole Foods I came so close to not buying any food, and just getting the lemons for the cleanse…but I chickened out. I figured, “I just made carrot burgers – can’t let them go to waste.” What an excuse right? Well, I believe that in order for any kind of fast, or change to happen, you have to be mentally and spiritually committed in order to make the physical commitment. I’m ready spiritually, but not quite there mentally. I have a lot of anxiety related to the fear of failing in seeing the cleanse through the whole 10 days. This is pretty much the reason why I haven’t committed to the global juice feast yet. I know one day I’ll be ready – just not now. Part of my fear of failing is that I have had so much personal stress in my life that I have been dealing with over the past 8 months that just being raw has been major. I’m so happy for changing to a raw diet, but it came at a time that wasn’t acceptable to my family and coworkers. Now it is, because they have seen the miraculous transformation in me. So now I get the support I need to make it happen.

I have been hit with financial stresses, work stresses, relationship challenges, scheduling challenges, sleep deprivation, and such, that it has been a juggling act – plus I have so many damned interests that I want to pursue. Don’t get me wrong, I am so grateful for each and every day that I have managed to find the balance I need in my life, but I am still striving for more. Life is definitely looking up in my eyes, because I feel it in my heart, and I’m in a different place mentally. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still suffering from the occasional anxiety though. What do you expect from an obsessive compulsive raw foodie like myself? Lol… 🙂

Well, I did decide that I truly need to finish my vision board (which is half way done and in my closet – good place for it – not!). Also, I am going to start the cleanse probably next week. This way I can save on groceries and start my very needed cleanse. I realized while writing this, that part of my bloating and constipation is not just due from food combining (cause I really haven’t been that bad), but it could very well be from just eating too much – even if it’s too much raw food, too much food is too much food, and it’s hard on the digestive system! My body needs a break!

I’ve been watching Matt Monarch’s and Angela Stoke’s show, Raw Success, every day, and Matt has been talking a lot about the importance of colon cleansing. So I realize I really need to get myself mentally geared up to do a colon hydrotherapy session and soon! I started looking into it after Raw Fu’s Bunny did one, but then chickened out. So, I’m going to definitely add this procedure to my vision board of things I want and need to do.

There are so many things that I want to do and accomplish, but prioritizing them or even grouping them is difficult. I’m just now relearning how to balance my life to make time for myself and those things that serve me and my family better both spiritually, mentally, and physically – but it’s not an easy task. We get so stuck in our ways, right or wrong, and habits are hard to break. I just try to take one day at a time, and set mini goals as well as big goals. Plus I’m learning not to be so upset, or disappointed when things don’t work out as I thought they would or should, and learn to see the value in all experiences. That is truly a part of being grateful. I have a journal to start writing in each day of what I’m grateful for. So far, I have mainly written it on my computer – but I will write in this journal…I will…lol…

Well, I want to write more, but need to close for now and take care of some other things around the house. The next post will be about the books I finish reading, yoga, and hopefully the beginning of my master cleanse. Maybe I’ll write sooner and post some recipes, we’ll see. Until then, have a blessed fill week!

Peace!

– Debbie 🙂

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